What’s more challenging – moving in with someone or deciding on a decor style for your home? How about doing both? Combining and compromising on style when you move in with a significant other can be quite the task. It can be super rewarding and fun to find a style you love together..but how about when your styles clash? Or you both has strong taste opinions?
Don’t let that be something to fight about, and don’t let clashing styles hold you back from creating a beautiful home! There are many ways to combine styles, compromise, and find a happy balance for decorating your home with your partner (and contrary to what HGTV might show you – it doesn’t have to be one sided!
My Story
Let me start with how Brian and I did it. I, of course, felt like I needed 100% control over the design of our home. I was in fact the one with the design degree, however I quickly learned that that’s not the answer to a harmonious house. He didn’t have a strong opinion on the furniture or decor, as long as it was comfortable and functional, I got the green light. For instance, we went shopping for sofas together and tried them all out! If Brian thought it was “lounge-able” and I liked the style, it was a winner. It’s been that way for everything, and it’s worked great in our home. We also both have our own spaces to do with what we please. His is his office and bathroom and mine is my office and bathroom. This has been a key to keeping it peaceful as well – creating a space that is all one’s own can give you the creative freedom you want!
But I don’t speak for everyone, so I set out and interviewed a few fellow home dwellers who had some helpful words of wisdom on this subject! Check out my interviews from 6 lovely ladies below.
See how these couples decorated together & kept the peace!
Aubrey, 25 @aubreylidwell
Whom do you live with?
My fiancé
Home:
We have owned our home since May 2016
Style:
He doesn’t have a style, he’s a mess. My style is modern and clean, with a touch of vintage and boho.
How did you decide what to keep/get rid of?
We were both moving in together from college dorms so we didn’t have a lot. We brought furniture from our childhood bedrooms, got a ton of hand-me-downs, and bought very little. We chose by what made the most sense as far as our beds, desks, and dressers.
How do you decide on how the home is decorated?
We discussed decor then shopped together for paint colors and things like that. It’s a joint decision, especially on items like wall art. We spent the whole first summer we lived in our home shopping for unique wall art. Now we are discussing which of our engagement photos to print on canvas to display in certain spots and how we will change those out seasonally with our wedding photos once we have those. We do our own things in our own spaces, like his office and my walk in closet. He doesn’t much care about a lot of the decor so I make smaller decor purchases without his input.
What is your best piece of advice?
Find common ground with your goals first- like budget, (future) kids and animals, and functionality. Then fight it out about the rest of the details.
Kate, 25 @katekozarphotography_
Whom do you live with?
My Husband, Brett, and our dog-child, Daisy Mae.
Home:
We bought our first home 2 years ago! It’s a middle-unit town home in a great community. We love it! We have about 1,344 square feet of space. We have an unfinished basement which we will be developing soon as we are trying to conceive! We landscaped our backyard this past summer with plans to finish it all up come spring!
Style:
In regards to home style – it is pretty easy to work together because we both like the same style. Rustic, antique, with a touch of modern. We have dark grey and wood accents throughout our entire home. It’s farmhouse rustic!
How did you decide what to keep/get rid of?
Well, we actually moved in 2 weeks after meeting (7.5 years ago). I didn’t have anything, Brett had most of everything in his apartment he was already in. We moved around a couple times, and in each home we bought new items and decor that we have carried with us. When we bought our current home, it was the first home we owned and could really do anything we wanted with. We essentially went out and bought mostly new items and found ways to work with what we had to furnish our home. After 2 years, we still have some unfinished spaces but have created a wonderful & warm home together.
How do you decide on how the home is decorated?
I lead the suggestions, and when something doesn’t work out – I always ask for Brett’s opinion. It’s interesting to see his twist on things, and his surprise as to how some of my ideas actually work out and look good! He always tells me it’s me that makes it feel like home… not just because I live there, but for how I decorate it and the ambience we’ve created together.
What is your best piece of advice for a couple struggling to be in harmony with how the house is set up?
I think the biggest thing is patience. Most new home-owners want to get everything done all at once, which adds stress big time, whether it’s financial stress or emotional stress. If you don’t agree with the same style of home/decor, etc… I would say learn how to compromise. Sit down with each other and talk about what you like, and what you don’t. Talk about the MUST-HAVES for each person to be happy, and find a way to possibly each have a room, or space to make their own. A lot of moving in with someone or living with someone is learning how to compromise. It teaches you a lot about YOU and how to begin to share your life with someone. You don’t have the final say. Together, you do. It’s important to make your partner feel heard and respected and in the slightest bit of control of THEIR home, too. Huge learning curve… but so much fun if you’re doing it with the right person.
Mallory, 33 @JustMalloryKaster
Whom do you live with?
My husband of 4 years
Home:
We purchased our first house about 1.5 years ago, and while it wasn’t a complete Fixer-Upper, it did need some renovations. We lived in the basement for six months, and hired a contractor to remodel the upstairs. We repainted, renovated all of the bathrooms, purchased new countertops/backsplashes, painted the exterior, and added a double-door entry instead of single-door entry. It is 3 bedrooms with 2.5 bathrooms, a small kitchen, small living room, and half finished basement.
Style:
I had previously decorated using LOTS of bright colors and vivid paintings, but in an attempt to simplify and also include my husband, I went with a very neutral pallet for our house. (He honestly doesn’t have a style, but I wanted him to be comfortable with colors he liked as well.. and also make it a little less feminine compared to when I was living on my own.)
How did you decide what to keep/get rid of?
When we rented, we combined our items, but over time, we would slowly get rid of our ‘old’ stuff, so that we could pick out new furniture together. We based a lot of decisions on which items to get rid of based on how old they were. In many instances, we kept the furniture, but changed the decorations in order to make it feel more cohesive. For example, we both had wooden beds, but different color bedrooms… when it came time to combine furniture, we got all new bedding to make the rooms look more similar.
How do you decide on how the home is decorated?
I make all of the decisions regarding decorating our new house; however, I do consult my husband on every decision. He knows the general style I’m going for, and trusts my decisions 100%.
What is your best piece of advice for a couple struggling to be in harmony with how the house is set up?
If you buy staple pieces in neutral colors, it’s easier to change up the look and feel of the entire room by switching out smaller decorations (rugs, pillows, picture frames, etc.)
Any additional thought you’d like to contribute?
Create a mood board on Pinterest as a visual guide. If what you’re thinking to buy doesn’t 100% match the mood board, don’t buy it!
April, Success in Black and White Podcast
Whom do you live with?
My husband
Home:
We own a 1,300 sq. ft home. Have lived in it for 1 year now!
Style:
I’m very OCD, and need everything in its place. My husband has a very visual memory, so our biggest argument is usually when he walks in the door and puts a receipt on the counter. I pick it up and put it in the receipt box (naturally) and 3 hours later, he’s like, wheres my receipt?!
How did you decide what to keep/get rid of?
We did both – combine and get rid of – when we first moved in together. Most of my stuff we sold because it was big gaudy furniture, and wouldn’t fit his apartment at the time.
How do you decide on how the home is decorated?
It’s a joint decisions, but he will default decisions to me. He will tell me what he doesn’t like though! Our home is rustic/utilitarian comfort style.
What is your best piece of advice?
Communicate so you don’t get in silly fights about who moved the receipt! Talk about how you manage the house and compromise. Also talk about how you both grew up to create understanding. My dad was and still is an intense cleaner and that’s dictated my actions in our home. So my husband understanding that has helped him know I’m not ignoring him or the kids, just need it to be done before I can relax!
Kelsey, 27 @kelseyrosemcginnis
Whom do you live with?
My husband, Jason and our son, Ezekiel!
Home:
We live in a former one room schoolhouse. It was built in 1917, and was remodeled in the 60’s into a home. I think the overall finished square footage is about 2,500 sq. ft. Our great room (dining and living) alone is 1,100 sq. ft. It’s huge and was somewhat of a challenge to lay out properly!
Style:
When my husband and I first got married, I was on the rustic clean side of things and his style was very modern. My tastes have changed over time and our style has formed into Mid-Century Modern/Scandinavian modern. We own a retail furniture store specializing in this furniture style, which has now made it easier to decorate and get pieces we love.
How did you decide what to keep/get rid of?
We combined! We didn’t have much money so we got a lot of things from my parents and Goodwill. After being married for a couple years and opening our shop, we have phased all of that out and bought all new pieces.
How do you decide on how the home is decorated?
Now that our tastes are pretty similar, we decide together and both trust each other’s eye. My husband has a surprisingly good eye for design. It’s fun working together to design our space. We do occasionally butt heads as he likes more color than I prefer.
What is your best piece of advice?
I’d say to allow each other to have a space that they can be free in their design. We have both had to compromise on things. I know my husband likes a lot of color, so I picked out a Persian rug that had a lot of berry colors in it, but also a lot of grey. It was a compromise that now I love.
Any additional thought you’d like to contribute?
Be open to each other. It never hurts to try something, if you end up not liking it, it’s simple enough to change down the road. You never know, you might grow to like it.
Also, it’s worth saving to invest in lifetime furniture pieces that are quality rather than buying something cheap just to have something. It gives you more appreciation of what you have.
Michelle, 24 madewithmichelle
Whom do you live with?
My husband
Home:
When we first got married, we lived in my in-laws’ basement for six months while we shopped for a home. We finally found the perfect property with a lake front view that happened to be in our budget. It’s about 3,000 sq. ft., which includes 4 beds, 2.5 baths, and an unfinished basement. It was built in 2003, so it needs a bit of updating, but nothing too drastic. We have lived here for about six months now and have loved having our own space to grow into together.
Style:
My style is definitely minimalist. I only want the necessities and things that are personally meaningful. I also love keeping things light and bright by using lots of white with the occasional pop of color. I’m inspired by modern art, geometry, and Art Deco. On the other hand, my husband loves black and dark, earthy tones. He likes things to be neutral and muted. One thing we both agree on is that we want our home to feel timeless. We don’t want to fall into trend traps that will go out of style quickly. My husband is constantly reminding me of that goal so we don’t waste money on cheap, trendy items. We also both love natural elements like wood and greenery. This is how we have been able to compromise several of our decorating decisions.
How did you decide what to keep/get rid of?
Both of us were living with roommates in small apartments when we got married, so we honestly didn’t have much. He had a black IKEA bed set, and I had a walnut cabinet that I built in my college wood shop class, but that was about all the furniture we owned. I don’t like black furniture, so we decided to put his old bedroom set in a guest bedroom. We bought a new mattress, bed frame, couch, desk, kitchen table, and nightstands when we moved into our home. Because it’s just the two of us, we’re leaving the rest of the bedrooms unfurnished for now.
How do you decide on how the home is decorated?
Decorating the home is definitely a compromise. The home needed a new paint job so we had to figure out what color to choose. I wanted to keep the paint as bright as possible, but my husband wanted some contrast between the walls, baseboards, and ceilings. We settled on a light gray color to keep it light, but not quite as boring as stark white. Choosing furniture is also a compromise because we want quality furniture that will last a while, but we also want a good deal. My husband is really good at hunting the classifieds, so he is usually the one finding the deals and I give him the go-ahead to buy it or not. I take the lead on decorating the walls because I do photography, graphic design, and woodworking. I like blending my talents to create custom artwork and frames for our home.
What is your best piece of advice?
One thing I would suggest is figure out each of your strengths and focus on that. My husband is really good at finding quality furniture, so I let him do most of that. My strength is making art, so I take the lead on that. Remember that it’s a process. Don’t feel like you have to decorate the whole house at once. We still have folding chairs at our kitchen table because we haven’t found chairs we both like yet.
If you have thoughts, questions or your own story of how you and your SO combined styles, feel free to comment here or message me on Instagram! I truly love hearing from y’all ♥
